Are You There God? It’s me, Margaret. By Judy
Blume (1970)
25
chapters
149
pages
Chapter 1
Are you there God…? Margaret is worried and anxious about leaving her
family’s New York City apartment where she’s lived her whole life and moving to
(fictional) Farbrook, New Jersey.
As Margaret tells
us in first person POV- she is an only child. Her father works in Manhattan.
The new house is on Morningbird Lane is seven years old and it’s nice. Margaret
suspects this uprooting from her private school and city life was to get her
away from 60 year-old Sylvia Simon, her paternal Jewish grandmother who is
helping out financially with Margaret’s education, knitting her sweaters and
paying for summer camp (all unnecessary, Margaret informs us, as her parents
are most certainly NOT poor!). Grandma also keeps asking Margaret about her
Jewish boyfriend who doesn’t exist. (She’s not even twelve yet!)
Chapter 2
Nancy’s mom, when
Margaret is brought out to meet her, is 38. We learn Margaret lived on West 67th
near Lincoln Center (part of the upper West side only two blocks north from
Lincoln with Central Park on one side and Broadway on the other where no middle
class family could afford to live today) Her father works in insurance.
Apparently everyone goes to a Christian church, or Jewish temple here. When
Margaret informs them she is a “none” they look at her like she’s from Mars
while Nancy shouts how lucky Margaret is.
Nancy has a 14
year old brother named Evan who turns the lawn sprinkler up full blast as
they’re standing under it. Nancy gets upset and runs inside to tattle. Evan and
his friend Moose Freed (who informs Margaret he runs a lawn cutting service)
try to chat Margaret up. Nancy walks Margaret home, telling her to call her and
they can walk to school together on the first day. She also instructs her to
wear loafers but NO SOCKS. Apparently Nancy is forming a no-sock club.
That night,
Margaret lies in bed, first night in new house, out of her element, with all
the strange sounds and shadows.
Are you there God…? Our new house is kinda
creepy. New friend Nancy is very mature, so maybe You could arrange for that maturity
growth spurt soon? Thanks.
Margaret informs
the reader her parents have no idea she does this (praying aloud or in her mind
to an unknown God) and she’ll never tell lest they think she’s turned “born
again.”
Chapter 3
On Labor Day
Monday, Margaret gets up early to organize her school supplies when she hears a
quiet knocking on the front door. It’s Grandma! She brought lots of NY deli and
took the train plus a taxi to get to the Jersey suburbs. Margaret is glad to
see her and takes her on a tour of the house. When her parents-Herb and
Barbara-wake up, Margaret informs them of their guest. They pretend to be
pleased and surprised. Grandma is only here to see her favorite (only?)
granddaughter. They eat the food she brought for dinner and take her to the
train station later. Grandma and Margaret have conspired to talk on the phone every evening at 7:30 and, Margaret informs
her parents, she’ll be coming into the city to visit Grandma at least twice a
month. Just your stereotypical Jewish relation.
A man enters and
writes his name on the board-Miles J Benedict Jr. Margaret observes Nancy who practically
swoons. A male teacher! He’s obviously very uncomfortable. A new graduate of
Columbia Teacher’s College in NYC he openly admits to the class that this is
his first teaching position. Margaret feels a little sorry for him but does her
best to answer the five getting-to-know-you questions he wrote on the board
along with his name. We learn Margaret’s full name is Margaret Ann Simon-called
Margaret. She likes: long hair, tuna, the smell of rain and the color pink. She
hates: pimples, baked potatoes, when mother is mad and religious holidays.
Completely clueless over how to answer the final question she opines that she
thinks male teachers are the opposite of female teachers.
After school, her
mom is all ready to get cozy and talk about Margaret’s first day of school.
Margaret informs her mother she’s been invited to Nancy’s to join her “secret
club” and that her new teacher is a man. She changes into shorts and a polo (informal
short-sleeved cotton shirt with a collar, and a placket of 2-3 buttons-think
LaVar Burton from Reading Rainbow and, yes, you are that old!) and walks over to Nancy’s.
Chapter 5
Unlike Laura, all
of them admit they still haven’t gotten “it” yet. Margret admits she doesn’t even
know what “it” means and they have to practically spell it out for her. When
Margaret wonders aloud if Laura whores herself up on purpose, they all laugh at
her. The subject turns to the new teacher-CUTE! Squeee! Margaret wonders aloud
if he’s married. (the only non-idiot comment Margaret made along with, “You
mean he asked us those questions to find out if we’re normal?”)
Next the girls
take turns making up rules for the new club and trying to come up with a sensational
name for themselves (Mean Girls
anyone?) Nancy proposes they call themselves the four PTS’s (Pre-Teen
SENSATIONS!!!) which is unanimously accepted. She also gives everyone new,
sensational, names that they will stop using by chapter 11.
Nancy’s rule is
bras. Gretchen-whoever gets her period first has to reveal all. Janie-Boy
Books. Margaret…Um, we meet on a certain day each week to hold our club
meeting? Monday is chosen but only because it’s the only day everyone has free
from extra-curricular activities. We learn Gretchen is Jewish because she has
to attend Hebrew school twice a week. They ask Margaret which religion she
belongs to. Nancy comments Margaret is anti-Sunday School-a “none.” Everyone
stares, slack-jawed, at Margaret who just shrugs. They press her for her story
and she tells it: Dad was born classic New York Jewish, Ohio Mom Christian,
they met, fell in love and against the desires of both families eloped and are
now raising their only daughter without any religion.
The girls are
aghast-how will Margaret know whether she wants to join the Y or Jewish
Community Center? Round here, everyone
belongs to either one or the other. Margaret shrugs; glad she won’t have to
pick such a life-altering identity until she’s older.
At bedtime that
night, hiding under the covers, Margaret blurts out to her Mom she wants to
wear a bra. Surprised, mom agrees and leaves the room so Margaret can say her
secret prayer to God. Are you there God? Help
me grow in that “you-know-where” place. And by the way, Nancy and all her
friends are either of the Christian or Jewish faiths-which one am I, er, which
one are YOU? Never mind.
The weekend
arrives. Moose Freed has been hired to cut the Simons’ lawn. Margaret is
obviously crushing on him as she pretends to read a book on the lawn chair next
to her father who is pouting behind his newspaper with his still bandaged
finger. Mom and Margaret go to a Lord & Taylor department store (like
A&P this is another East coast store that opened in the 1850’s and as of 2019-has announced its official closing) where Margaret wants to
die of embarrassment. Bra-shopping with her Mom! She endures being measured by
an ancient female clerk. In the dressing room Mom has to help her with both the
Dacron and itchy lace contraptions. Margaret declares the softer bra the winner.
At the counter who should they meet but Jamie who giggles behind a pile of new
bras while declaring she and her mom are actually here shopping for winter PJs.
Margaret goes with it, “Yeah…PJs…me too!” and makes a hasty exit.
At the next club
meeting, Nancy proudly declares she is the only one wearing a 32AA. The others
are still stuck with training bras. She teaches them a stretching exercise and
they all do it together, along with a chant to boost self-esteem. They all
listed Phillip Leroy as first choice in their book but when Nancy questions
Margaret about her second choice, an annoyed Margaret raises her right eyebrow
at her. Nancy didn’t ask the others about their
second choices! They exit Nancy’s bedroom to find Evan and Moose waiting to
tease them about their bust-increasing exercises, ROTF laughing so hard
Margaret secretly hopes they both wet themselves.
At school, the
campaign to bring down Mr. B has started with a “peep” which everyone in class
participates in while their teacher wanders all over the room trying to figure
out where it’s coming from. Nancy kicks Margaret under her desk. Fearing the
social repercussions, Margaret pretends to correct one of the math quiz
problems to hide her “peep” contribution.
Next day,
everyone’s desks have been rearranged. To Margaret’s dismay, she is no longer
next to Nancy but between class bully Freddy “the Lobster” Barnett (nicknamed
because of his first-day sunburn) and…Laura Danker! Margaret tries not to freak
out about this new seating arrangement that will most certainly affect her
social status.
In gym class, the
boys are taken off to do boy things while the girls are warned about the “just-for-girls
sex talk” that will be given later in the year (on Maturity Day?). That night, Margaret hits the
books in preparation for tomorrow’s big social studies test concluding with 35
stretches to increase her bust and climbs into bed to say her prayers. Are you there God?...Sure would be nice to
have something to put in my new bra. Please let me do well on my test tomorrow
so You can be proud of me. Thanks.
Next day, as the
test papers are being passed out, Freddy the Lobster whispers to Margaret that
nobody will be signing their name. Again, fearing the peer pressure, Margaret
turns in her test with no name, mourning how all her hard work was for nothing
but also curious if Mr. B will simply expel the entire class as punishment. We
are not told if the test was multiple choice or essay. Margaret answered all
the questions in less than fifteen minutes.
Chapter 8
That Saturday is
Margaret’s first solo trip into the city to meet Grandma for lunch and a
concert at Lincoln Center as part of their “conspiracy” against Margaret’s
parents to spend more time together. She manages the bus trip without getting
mugged. Grandma compliments Margaret on her hair (she’s trying to grow it out)
while Margaret observes Grandma’s green eye shadow and ever changing hair
color. This month it’s silver blonde. Over lunch, Margaret is pleased when
Grandma tells her the new training bra she’s wearing makes her look “much
older.”
Just before
parting at the bus terminal, Margaret, wanting to start her project assignment
right away, asks Grandma if she could attend Temple with her sometime.
Incredulous, Grandma stares at her favorite grandchild while Margaret is quick
to explain herself. No, she’s not interested in converting. She just wants to
see what it’s like. Grandma bursts into tears anyway and hugs her. She just
KNEW Margaret was a kosher girl at heart! Margaret will come with her to Temple
on Rosh Hashanah. Grandma can hardly wait! She runs right home to call the
rabbi.
Margaret has to
explain to her parents that, no, Grandma did not brainwash her into wanting to
attend a Jewish service with her. She’s curious about other religions is all.
She intends to try Christian services next, so don’t try to stop her! Her
parents give permission, albeit reluctantly.
On the morning of
Rosh Hashanah: Are you there God?...Good
morning. Well, this is it. Today is the day I’m going to try religion for the
first time. My parents think I’m crazy, but I’m going anyway. I’ll look for you
in temple today…
Margaret tells the
reader she got the third degree from her parents when she gets home but it’s really
not that bad. Her father jokes with her how as a kid he used to pass the boring
service time like she did-counting hats!
Are you there God?...Well, I’m on my way! By
next year I’ll know everything there is to know about religion and what I
should be-Jewish or Christian-then I can be just like everyone else.
It is now the first week in November. Three important things happen:
2. Margaret tries Janie’s Presbyterian Church service. Very similar to temple with Grandma-lots of reading from a prayer book, another sermon Margaret can’t follow and more counting of hats with a closing song to end the Sunday service. To Margaret’s embarrassment, Janie introduces her to the minister as her friend who is a “none.” The minister drools greedily, pumping Margaret’s hand, exhorting her to come again. She thanks him.
Are you there God?...I went to church but
nothing happened. I’ll try harder next time.
3. For the next two weeks, the entire sixth grade gym class will be preparing for a big fall dance, a square dance! Nancy informs her friends because her mother is on the committee she can pull some strings *cough-dance partners-cough* and do her best to pair everyone up. Except Phillip Leroy can’t be split four ways! As the tallest girl in the class, Laura Danker is always used by Mr. B to demonstrate new steps which does not go unnoticed by Margaret and her friends who have to avoid their own foot-stepping partners. On the day of the dance, Margaret dresses in her new skirt and blouse.
Are you there God?...I’d really, really really like to score with handsome
(tallest boy in class) Philip Leroy this afternoon as a dance partner. Pretty
please? Thank you.
At the dance Nancy’s mom, along with the rest of the chaperones, are ready for a hoedown in their dungarees (just a fancy way of saying bib-and-brace overalls) plaid shirts and big straw hats. Margaret thinks they look ridiculous.
After dodging all
the loser boys, Freddy included, Margaret (at last!) gets paired with Phillip
Leroy taking him away from Nancy who pouts. He turns out to be a foot stepper
and makes her hands sweat so bad she wipes them on her skirt.
Back in Chapter 2 we
learned Margaret’s mom is a still-life painting stay-at-home-housewife. She picks
Margaret up in the new second family
car (a green Chevy we are not told what model) that Margaret tells us her Mom kept nagging dad to buy until he finally
gave in. They ARE pretty well off.
The girls exclaim
over the sizes of the centerfold model and wonder if they’ll ever look like
that at eighteen. All agree Laura Danker probably will…someday.
They end with fifty round of stretching exercises.
Chapter 12
Christmas Holiday
Greeting cards with one card addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Paul Hutchins, the
estranged Ohio parents (foreshadowing!) and wonders what the heck is going on?!
Mom and grandparents haven’t communicated, like, at all, in fourteen years.
Mr. B’s class is
the choir for the school Christmas/Hanukkah program. Despite being a “none”
Margaret sings all the required songs but some kids refuse to sing certain
songs, claiming it’s against their religion. They even bring notes from home to
get out of it. Margaret observes all of this…
Are you there God?...I’m giving a lot of
thought to both Christmas and Hanukkah this year. Perhaps one will become
special for me. I’m really thinking hard about it…
Despite it being
a mixed religious program, the story of Mary and Joseph is told, because as Margaret
tells us, one little kindergartener wet his pants in his chair right in front
of Margaret and Janie who had to choke back their mirth while singing “Away in
a Manger” or something.
After the program,
school is dismissed for the holiday break. When she walks in the door, Mom
informs Margaret she has a letter…
Like typical
pre-teens, on the day of the party, the four girls call each other about every
single detail: what they will wear, which parent will chauffer, and who will
sleep over at each other’s house afterward since they’ll be getting home so
late. Nancy will sleep over at Margaret’s.
Early afternoon,
Margaret’s mom gives her a full out pampering: washes her hair-cream rinse
included-sets it in rollers, files her nails while she sits under the dryer
before sending her daughter to her room to get some beauty sleep. Too keyed-up
to rest, Margaret stands naked on a chair in front of her mirror wondering if
she’s ever going to fill out.
Are you there God…? I hate to remind you
(AGAIN) and I know you’re busy but I could really use a little help here…
Pause prayer
Margaret hops down off the chair, grabs some cotton balls
from the bathroom, dresses in her party clothes and secludes herself in her
closet. Heart hammering, she stuffs the cotton balls in her training bra then
steps back onto the chair in front of the mirror to admire the effect. She’s
thrilled.
Are you still there God? Check THIS out!
THIS is what I need to look like. I’ll help clear the table every night for a
month at least…!
Mom brushes out Margaret’s freshly curled hair. While waiting for Mr. Wheeler to pick her up, she and her parents exchange cheesy “knowing” smiles, as if she’s going to a virginity party. In the car, Janie also has a new hairstyle-her mom marched her to the salon and next thing Janie knew, she had a pixie cut.
The Fishbeins must
be pretty loaded-the house is HUGE. After Mrs. Fishbein hands their coats to a
maid, Nancy leads Margaret through four
rooms with fancy, modern furniture, before descending down some stairs to the
Rec-room where the rest of their class has already gathered. Laura Danker in
her soft, airy, pink dress looks gorgeous. The food is served: tiny party
sandwiches, franks & beans, and potato salad. Dessert is cupcakes. With no chaperone, the
boys start blowing mustard through their straws up at the ceiling and make a
big mess. Naturally, Mrs. Fishbein is not pleased. Freddy mimics her “sweet,
well behaved girls” comment (because everyone knows girls are made of sugar and
spice and everything nice). Deeply offended, Nancy stands up and starts yelling
at him. Freddy grabs her dress, accidently inducing a sexual assault which
tattletale Nancy marches upstairs to report to Mrs. Fishbein who chews them all out, including the girls-mincing no
words-accusing them of hanky-panky and abominable, shocking behavior! She exits
in a huff. Everyone giggles and the tension is broken.
Norman, the host, suggests they all play
(kissing) games to stay out of trouble. The girls all vote nay for “Guess Who”
the game where boys grope the girls in the dark in attempt to find out who’s
who. Margaret, thinking of those cotton balls in her bra, sighs with relief.
They play “Spin the Bottle” instead. But before Margaret gets a turn, one of
the boys suggests they play “Two Minutes in the Bathroom” where everyone picks a
number then odd-number boy or even-number girl call out a number, they have to go
into the dark room together and…well…you know.
Margaret draws
twelve from the bowl. Norman goes first calling out sixteen who turns out to be
a delighted Gretchen. They go in and come right back out to groans and boos but
Norman defends himself-you don’t have to stay the entire two minutes. Gretchen
picks number three and gets Freddy which Margaret makes a mental note not to
call when it’s her turn. Freddy gets Laura Danker, much to everyone’s
amusement. Margaret imagines Freddy standing on the toilet just to reach her
lips and can’t stop laughing with everyone else. Both come out with red faces
which (for someone rumored to have already made out with every boy in school
behind the local drugstore) Margaret thinks is pretty funny. Still blushing with
embarrassment, Laura calls seven which turns out to be Philip Leroy who flashes
a very self-satisfied grin at the other boys before sauntering into the
bathroom. When they exit, Philip Leroy is still smiling. Laura isn’t. Margaret
is so distracted by this; she doesn’t realize Philip just called twelve.
In a daze,
Margaret follows him into the room where the door is shut and Margaret gets the
giggles. She shuts up real fast when Philip informs her he intends to kiss her
on the mouth which he does twice. It’s fast, with no time for her to even think
about it. Suddenly she is back out in the party room and can’t even remember
Philip’s number so she can call him back and show him just how much Nancy
taught her. So she calls nine and gets the party host himself! Looking very
pleased, Norman grins at his guests before practically running into the
bathroom. For such a loser guy, Norman is not Philip. After confessing how much
he really likes her, he asks Margaret how she’d like him to kiss her and
complies with her cheek. He’s a gentleman about it, yet Margaret can’t get out
of there fast enough. She’s done.
That night, Nancy
grills Margaret about Philip’s technique. Margaret lies about how many times
Philip Leroy kissed her, “Five, I lost count,” accepts Nancy’s congrats and
falls asleep.
Chapter 15
Margaret attends Christmas Eve services with the Wheelers who are Methodist. Much to Margaret’s relief not only is there no sermon, she’s not even expected to meet the minister. The choir sang and that was it. Margaret doesn’t get home until after midnight where she falls into bed without even brushing her teeth. She does manage to stay awake to say her prayer to God though…Are you there God?...The service I just came back from was nice, but…where WERE You? I didn’t feel anything at all. Which church should I join? I’m so confused…
A true snowbird, Grandma
phones every night from Florida where she’s traveling to escape the cold. All
three family members have nothing interesting to report-We’re all fine,
school’s fine, and YES Margaret is just fine.
The second
Friday in January is “Maturity Day” when the boys have a separate meeting with
their male gym teacher while the girls are marched into the auditorium to watch
“The Big Deal Sex Movie” about “menstroooo-ation” brought to you by the Private
Lady Company. There’s a Q&A afterwards with the presenter but Nancy’s
question about Tampax is quickly shot down. For days afterward the four girls
mouth the word “menstroo-ation” at each other during class and guffaw while Mr.
B has to constantly get after them to stop giggling and focus on their studies.
Not long after
that, the girls hold a Very Special PTS meeting because Gretchen got it. They
beg for details but, Gretchen reports, there’s not much to tell. Her mother was
completely unprepared. They had to “Uber-deliver” pads from the neighborhood
drugstore which took an hour. Then her mother had to show her how to attach the
pad to the belt. Wise Mom did not get her daughter the Private Lady but another fictional product called Teenage Softies. While it’s not painful,
Gretchen admits she did have some cramps last night and her mother warned her
she’d have to start dieting and wash her face every night from now on-with
soap. That’s all. The girls groan. What a let-down.
Margaret is more
worried now than ever. She questions her mom about when she might get her
period-no way she’s waiting until fourteen!!!
she’ll be an old maid by then and her friends will all dump her! Mom promises Margaret she’ll turn out
normal.
Are you there, God?...Well, Gretchen Potter
got hers. What about ME, God? Please! I just want to be normal like everyone
else-Help.
During President’s
Day weekend in February, Nancy goes out of town with her family. Margaret gets
a postcard from her with only three words…I GOT IT!!! Margaret rips up the card
and runs to her room for a good cry.
Are you there, God?...I hate my life. I’m
going to be the only one in the entire world who doesn’t get her period just
like I’m the only female “none” in the world. Why don’t you help me? Haven’t I
been good? Please God…
Grandma writes back
she’s met a single, widowed, man and she’s going to pull some strings to get
her parents to agree to let her fly down for a “Spring Break-Miami” trip.
Margaret has never been so excited in her life and writes Grandma back, telling
her so.
Chapter 17
Margaret sits next
to Moose, who smells divine! She blushes every time his left elbow and her
right keep bumping each other as they attack their steaks.
Are you there, God? Can you believe that
Nancy? Lying about getting her period. I’ll be patient now, God and if you ever
let me get it, please don’t let it be in public…or during school. I’d just die
if I had to explain it to Mr. Benedict! Thank you.
The class sings
Happy Birthday. Her three friends all chipped in to give her the new (fictional
group) Mice Men record. Nancy also sent her a separate, private, birthday card
in the mail “You’re the bestest
friend a girl could ever have!” implying her relief that Margaret never tattled
on her and continued to keep her secret.
But the day is not
perfect. Mr. B announces that for the rest of the month, the entire class has
been divided up into groups to study a country and present their report.
Margaret can’t believe her ears when she gets stuck with Norman, Philip…and
Laura Danker! Janie rolls her eyes at Margaret who raises her right eyebrow back
at her. As the boys are scooting their desks over to the two girls, Philip sings that
special grade-school version of the birthday song to Margaret who frowns. She
most certainly does NOT smell. But her eyes are too busy smarting from the
extra hard pinch Philip gave her, followed by a cruel, “That’s a pinch to grow
an inch-you know where!” Right then
and there, Margaret decides maybe she doesn’t like Philip Leroy that much after
all. She glares at Laura Danker, sitting there looking so big and beautiful.
This is turning out to be the worst birthday of Margaret’s life.
One afternoon, the
two girls stay after school to use the reference books in the library where
Margaret learns Laura won’t be a needing a ride because she’s going straight to
confession afterwards. Margaret is surprised. She didn’t know Laura was
Catholic but then an argument ensues when Laura points out that Margaret is
copying straight from the encyclopedia for their report which is cheating.
Margaret’s retort is cold, “So? You’ve already made out with every boy in
school. I know all about it.” Laura, understandably, nearly pops a vein. She
calls Margaret a “filthy liar” and a “little pig” before storming out of the
library, to the dismay of the librarian who has to shush them again for the
third time.
Feeling awful,
Margaret grabs her things and rushes after her, following Laura all the way
down the street to the Catholic Church trying to explain. Laura overrides her:
I’ve had to wear a bra since FOURTH GRADE. Always having to cross my arms in
front of my chest, you think it’s FUN being the biggest girl in class? Being
called names just because of how you look?”
Laura
is crying. For the first time in her life, Margaret realizes the world does not
revolve around her. She is sorry, admits to Laura she wishes she looked more
like her. Laura responds she would trade places, and gladly, before
disappearing into the church. Feeling awkward, Margaret lingers, waiting,
before finally slipping into the church herself. She sees Laura exit from a
little wooden door and ducks so she’s not seen. As soon as Laura is out of
sight, Margaret approaches the door and decides to investigate. She opens it to
find a little room, like a phone booth. She enters, shuts the door, and nearly
jumps out of her skin when a Voice speaks:
Yes, my child. (no
question mark to this statement which is repeated twice)
It’s not God, Margaret realizes, just the priest but
Margaret is too tongue-tied to say anything except she’s sorry. Flinging open
the door, she runs for her life out of the church to where her mother is
waiting in the car to pick her up. Explaining she’s sick, Mom believes her and
Margaret is allowed to go to bed with just bowl of soup that evening which is
fine with Margaret because she feels awful.
Are you there, God…I’m a terrible person,
undeserving of anything good from You. I picked on the class whore; said mean
things to her. Why did you let me do that? And why can’t I find you? I’ve
looked for you in every church-including the one I visited today and we both
saw how THAT turned out! Why God? Why can I only feel you when it’s just you
and me…?
This is what it says: So happy to have received your Christmas card. After talking it over with our minister, we have decided to fly out over spring break and visit, specifically Margaret and our wayward daughter-it’s time to reconcile. Because that’s the kind of good, Christian people we are. Look for us on April 3.
Herb isn’t even
mentioned in the letter.
Now it’s Margaret’s turn to hit the roof. The trip to Florida, the one she’d been looking forward to for weeks to visit her grandmother has been cancelled. She’s VERY upset. Mom places the call to Grandma in Florida so Margaret can explain what happened before bursting into tears. Barbara takes the phone and Margaret can hear her dad greeting his mother as she quietly runs back upstairs and closes her bedroom door. Time to pray.
Are you there God?...Guess this is my
punishment for being such a horrible person. Hope you enjoy seeing me suffer,
but, haven’t I always tried to be good? Please, God, make something happen so I
can go to Florida anyway. Please…
She’s never
talking to God again!
Next morning, Margaret almost catches herself saying her morning prayer to God. She decides to meet Janie downtown for a movie. Her mother agrees to the trip and drops Margaret off.
With some time to
kill before the movie, they each buy a box of Teenage Softie pads at the drugstore and belts to go with them.
Margaret feels as if she’s rebelling at God. She even crossed against the light
today just to test Him and nothing happened. Take THAT God! Janie is mortified
the clerk at the cash register is a MAN! Margaret just rolls her eyes, marches
up and pays for their purchases.
Back home, she goes
upstairs-“school supplies” was all she told her inquiring mother regarding the brown
paper parcel-and secludes herself in her room, as if buying feminine supplies before
menarche was some kind of sin. She opens the box and holds a pad in her hand,
almost reverently. Then, like when she stuffed her bra for the party, Margaret
goes into her pitch black closet to try out the pad and belt. She LIKES it.
Stashing the supplies in a safe place, Margaret is ready to take on the world
now.
Next morning, the
grandparents announce they will be staying in a New York City hotel for the
remainder of their vacation with no plans to spend any more time with the Simon
family. Margaret’s mom is livid. Dad just smirks. Margaret is annoyed because
she could’ve taken her trip after all. A whole week with nothing to do, what a
waste!
Margaret feigns
sleepiness and is excused to go to bed, glad she knows she loves her Grandma
and Grandma loves her so it really doesn’t matter what religion she is.
May 25
I also attended
a few different church services to see what they were like: Temple Israel of
New York City on Rosh Hashanah, First Presbyterian Church and United Methodist
Church both in Farbrook. I also went to confession at Saint Bartholomew but had
to leave because I didn’t know what to say. I did not get the opportunity to
try Buddhism or Muslim because we live in a very homogenous suburbanite city
and these religious groups won’t be making the news headlines for another 40
years anyway…(Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, anyone? Book of
Mormon Musical?)
All in all, this
was not a good experience for me. Sorry I flunked the assignment and if I ever
have kids, I’m going to force some kind of religion on them, so they don’t grow
up as confused as I did. It’s like trying to choose your gender/identity.
Sincerely,
Margaret Ann Simon.
(Too bad Margaret
didn’t put more effort into her project. She actually could’ve learned a lot
and filled an entire booklet with journal entries about her different church visits or reports on famous
religious leaders and the history of their faith that would’ve met her
teacher’s assignment requirements just fine)
A very solemn Margaret waits until everyone has turned in their booklets and left the classroom so she can hand Mr. B the letter. She waits silently while he reads it until her emotions get the better of her and she excuses herself to hide in the bathroom where she can hear Mr. B calling her name out in the hallway. She splashes water on her face and walks slowly home. Margaret has never felt so low. She almost misses God. But not enough to start talking to Him again.
The four PTSs have
lunch downtown by themselves, stressing out over how they will ever survive
seventh grade at the ginormous junior high where they won’t know anyone, be
constantly lost and probably not have any classes together. Then they all go
home and cry.
While Margaret’s mom is packing her summer camp trunk, Margaret hears the roar of the lawnmower. It’s Moose! He’s back. And does Margaret have a bone to pick with him. How DARE he spread dirty stories about Laura Danker around like that? And she believed them! She marches outside to tell him off-calling him a liar because Nancy said that Evan told her that he and Moose and Laura…um...oh. Margaret's anger dies away as she realizes what she's saying.
Moose coldly informs
Margaret she might want to grow up and not listen to gossip (and maybe not
listen to someone like Nancy who is nobody’s friend) until she finds out the
truth for herself. Properly chastised, Margaret apologizes then jumps out of
the way as Moose fires up the lawnmower again.
Happy and at peace
with the world at last, Margaret goes back inside to use the bathroom. Looking
down, she gasps seeing her smeared underwear and hollers for mom to come quick.
Mom gets teary. Her little girl! Margaret is emotional too. She’s really on her
way now to becoming a woman! Wait until she tells her friends. She never
thought God would ever get around to granting her biggest request.
God!
Are you still there,
God? It’s me, Margaret. I know you’re there God. I know you wouldn’t have
missed this for anything! Thank you God. Thanks an awful lot…
THE END
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